“Yes, Sergeant?” In truth, Krognuk's attempts to show respect bordered on overkill for the first week or so. He would stand every time she so much as looked at him, saluting constantly despite the fact neither of them were soldiers anymore. For all that Lilybottom bucked the trend of faerie-kind, she wasn't entirely boring. She liked rules but hated pomp and circumstance. More than anything, she finally told him, you earn my respect by doing your damn job. And from then on, their working relationship only got stronger. Any time the two rode together on a case, everyone would get a betting pool going on how quickly they would get their collar.
Lilybottom motioned back toward the interrogation rooms with an amused smile. “You're up. I think our 'eco-warriors' are ready to talk, and I know you love to play good cop and bad cop at the same time.” The sarge said 'eco-warriors' the same way someone would call a three month old puppy a ferocious beast.
These kinds of things happened all the time. Some suburbanite kid would start talking to the shrubs in their front yard, they go and join a forum for baby druids, and next thing you know they're trying to stop a construction company from destroying more of Gaia's precious land, or gods forbid attempting to blow up a smoke-stack or something. Thankfully, these shrimps were small-time, all minors, and scared witless. They'd been caught sneaking into some big pharma company with nothing but spray paint and the determination of youth.
But not even Officer Armstrong's report did these little ones credit. As the orc strode casually into the room and shut the door behind him, he was able to get a much better look at them – while they, in turn, freaked out, convinced that this was their executioner. Krognuk sat down in a chair that was way too small for his broad frame and gazed at them evenly.
Each wore a dark brown hoodie, fabric of such uninteresting make that it no doubt came from some terrible polluting factory. The same could be said of the rest of their clothes. He casually picked up the evidence bag with the spray paint can inside. Chroma – a brand notorious for shoddy health regulations. The stuff in the cans could do, and had done, irreparable damage to the world. Just as slowly Krognuk set the evidence bag back down in front of the kids. One human, one elf, and one kid with the misfortune to have a gnome and a halfling for parents. He would never be taller than this moment right now. It was tragic, and his big orc heart was breaking.
“Do you kids know much about CleriMed?”
The human spoke up, a girl with unruly hair and glasses, freckles and braces – braces for crying out loud, her teeth weren't even fully formed yet! “They're a big business, what does it matter? They've got hands in every pot and that means they're as guilty as anyone!”
The detective pointed a finger at her and she quickly backed down. “First of all, you should consider a different line of work. You sound more communist than terrorist. Second, CleriMed has been on the Top 100 Green Businesses list since 'green' was a thing. They get their name because pretty much all their products come from clerical healing spells, not pharmaceutical science. If you're going to go after someone, it would be wise to do your research first...”
“A-Are you gonna call our parents...?” asked the tiny one. Oh, gods, they look so sad. Why the hell did Lilybottom have to give this to me? She knows I can't stand it when kids cry... He felt himself starting to soften more, his shoulders sinking, a sigh passing his enormous teeth. These were okay kids, they didn't deserve punishment, they needed guidance!
It was an odd age to be, where they were still terrified of their parents being called in, and yet giddy that they had actually been arrested trying (if failing) to do something for Mother Earth. Soften too much, too fast, and they wouldn't really get it. So he crossed his massive arms against his chest and glared at them, staring them down, double checking that each one looked sufficiently guilty and ashamed for being such... idiots!
“I know someone, goes by the name Stormy. Retired now, good cop. She's a druid too, mostly uses it to garden. Loves talking to sunflowers. I can call her to come get you, or I can call your parents. But I promise you, if you choose her, she won't go easy on you. You'll learn to tend to the earth the way Gaia intended, not the way some jackass in a forum tells you.”
The look passing between the youths was instantaneous, and soon they were all rapidly nodding their heads as the bespectacled girl spoke for them. “Call her! Call her, it's fine, w-we'll learn!”
Detective Krognuk chuckled and stood up from the table, heading for the door. “Good idea. But seriously, if you end up in here again, you'll wish I'd called your parents instead of Stormy. That woman...” He laughed again and headed for the phone.
//////////
It was windy up on the roof of the precinct, and it ruffled what few strands of graying hair Krognuk still had. He pulled at the cigarette between his fingers and released the cloud of smoke into the air. The sound of the door drew his attention, but he eased up again when he saw that it was Sergeant Lilybottom, pulling out her own pack and lighter.
“I sort of feel like I owe you an apology, Krog. What the hell happened back there? You're not the type to get rattled. Ever.”
For an orc, Krognuk was very good with silence, and he let the moment linger as he continued to smoke. “Kraal is getting to be that age. Sometimes I worry about her. Maybe she'll just get up to stupid shenanigans like trying nepenthe behind the high school or joyriding. Something relatively harmless. But for all I know, she'll be caught up in some hairbrained scheme, end up hurt or... Guess the kid with the braces just reminded me of her a little. Headstrong but desperate for a rudder.”
“Hey, you're a great dad. Isn't Krall like... a genius level alchemist or something? So maybe she accidentally sets something on fire, I think we both know she's not malicious enough to do anything bad. Just... do what you did in there. Talk to her like she's an actual sentient being. If you don't know a damn thing about alchemy, find someone who does.” Lilybottom bumped shoulders with Krognuk, and even if he was three times her size, he still stumbled.
Just a little.
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